Blessings

This past Thursday, a very dear friend of my family passed away.  She was fifty-three years old. 

Fifty-three.

As I sit here, my heart is begging the question why.  Why her?  Why now?  Why not after her children are grown?  Why not someone who has lived their life?  Why not someone who was ready? 

Just...why?

I know that God is 100% knowing and 100% powerful.  I also believe that He is 100% loving.  So logically, I understand that there must be a reason for this.  A reason for everything. 

But logic doesn't appeal to matters of the heart.  And the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.  What right does God have to take away such a wonderful woman, mother, and friend?  Doesn't He know?  Doesn't He understand? 

I heard a song on the radio that caught my attention.  It's entitled Blessings by Laura Story.  The lyrics of the chorus are these:

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?



As I listened to this song, I could feel my heart softening to the simple truths of these lyrics.  Because the fact is, I am not all-powerful, all-knowing, or all-loving.  I don't understand the things I have never experienced.  I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or even what I will cook for dinner tonight.  And I certainly don't understand why God brings suffering into our lives.  But God knows.  He understands why.  And for a moment, I considered...what if?  What if, Lord?  What if, instead of causing us absolute pain, You are  actually showing even greater compassion?

What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?