God told Abraham to sacrifice his son.
Can you even imagine that request? I certainly can't. But without question, Abraham said yes to God's command. What faith! What trust! I mean, this is Abraham we're talking about. He didn't think he would ever even have kids--he was over 100 years old when Isaac was born! Sarah was what, 99?
And on that note, do you think he told Sarah what he was doing? Do you think Abraham told Sarah, "Oh, and after you finish cutting up those carrots, do you think we can talk? God wants me to kill our only son. But no rush...just whenever you're finished." (Privately, I feel that there is no way Abraham and Isaac would have set out that day if Sarah had any knowledge about what the plan was...)
So Abraham got up the next day...early. As our pastor pointed out, why did Abraham get up early? You know why. I know why. He got up early because that's what you do on significant days. You can't sleep.
Abraham selected a knife. Again, this is the knife with which he will sacrifice (kill) his one and only son. I'm assuming he had multiple, but he chose one. How do you select a knife for something like that?
Abraham packed his bag. Abraham was a fairly wealthy fellow. He had servants to pack his bag for him. He didn't need to pack his own bag. But Abraham had to do this one himself.
And out they set. God's Word says that Isaac asked questions. How would you answer those if you were Abraham?
"Dad, why is there no sheep? Are you hiding the sheep? Is it waiting for us? What are we going to sacrifice? Aren't we going up to the mountain to sacrifice a sheep to God? Where's the sheep?"
That had to have been the longest 3-day hike of Abraham's life. And when they get to the top of the mountain, Abraham ties Isaac to the altar. As he raises the knife to kill his son (his only son...whom he loves), God stops him.
"Don't lay a hand on the boy!" As our pastor put it, never has a knife dropped so quickly. Never had Abraham felt so incredibly relieved.
Overall, I don't think it was God telling Abraham to give up Isaac that bothered me. God asks us to give things up--it always has a purpose, even when it's hard.
I get that.
I think my issue came when Abraham was about to sacrifice Isaac and God told him to stop...and here's why: God knew Abraham's heart. He knew that Abraham would give up Isaac for Him. So why test his loyalties and at the last minute say, "J/k! Just wanted to see if you would!"? You know what I mean?
I would walk through fire for the people I love--willingly and without question. But if I did and then they said something like, "Oh, don't worry--just testing out your loyalties, bro!", I would have a huge problem with that. I would feel so incredibly betrayed and taken advantage of.
So how did Abraham just go on about his business???
Seriously, I couldn't stop thinking it about it...for days. I was talking through it with a friend, and I was explaining that I know God is good and loving. My head knows that. But my heart was having a hard time reconciling Abraham and Isaac because testing loyalties doesn't feel like "love" to me. It feels sort of cruel, actually...
So talking it through, we came to a couple of conclusions:
1. We don't know what Abraham's reaction was--the Bible doesn't tell us. He may have been positively furious. But...
2. (and more importantly) sometimes we don't understand God's love because we can't see the bigger picture. Love isn't always an affectionate feeling (C.S. Lewis, anyone?). It can feel harsh and almost cruel. But in the end, it's for our own good. Sometimes we just can't see that.
I guess where I've landed is, I don't understand why God asked Abraham to do what he did. But I do know that God is all-loving, and God is all-good.
All of the time.
