Seasons of the Soul

We all go through different stages of life.  

Some stages are easy - being 6 years old, for example.  You're old enough to dress yourself and think for yourself, but young enough for naps and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Other stages are harder.  I mean really, did anyone enjoy puberty?

I guess while I was growing up, I thought it would get easier.  Life would be easier when I could drive.  Life would be easier when I went to college.  Life would be easier when I had my own house, my own job, etc.  But I'm realizing how wrong that thought was.

Growing up isn't easy.  In fact, I would venture to say that it's just as hard as puberty, with its own quirks and queries.  There are different situations to go through, different bridges to cross, different questions to ask.  Perhaps the most painful part of growing, however, is pruning.  And I can tell you firsthand, pruning can hurt.  A lot.

I recently joined a small group of "creative adults".  This group of people is different than any other small group that I've ever been privileged to call myself a part of.  In this group, we ask real questions.  We share about real hurts we have.  We encourage each other.  We do life together.  God has truly blessed my life by putting these people in it.  

Last week, we were talking about Romans 11, and we got on the topic of our lives being pruned by God.  I never really understood what the pruning analogy meant until a few years ago.  One of my sister's friends has a rosebush in her yard, and her dad came over to trim it for her.  He cut a lot off of the bush.  By the time he was done, it looked like he had killed the rosebush.  There was so little of the bush left - it looked dead.  My sister said her friend was furious.  She had this big, beautiful rosebush, and her dad killed it.  The next season, though, the bush grew.  By the time it bloomed, it was bigger and more beautiful than ever before.

I think sometimes that's how I feel with God.  God prunes our rosebush lives, and to be honest, it hurts.  Sometimes it makes me furious with Him.  I want to ask Him, "God, what in the world do You think You're doing?!"  I want to beg Him to stop, to say, "Lord, what are You doing?  I'm dying.  I can't take any more."  Somehow, though, God pulls us through.  And sure enough - the next season brings a bigger and more beautiful rosebush.

Chris Tomlin has a song called "Faithful" that I think says it best:

You are there in every season of my soul

You are there, You're the anchor that will hold

You are there, in the valley of the shadows

You are faithful, God

God is faithful no matter what stage of life we're going through.  He's there through every season.  He has never let me down...not ever.  And if I'm honest, I don't think He ever will.

Blessings

This past Thursday, a very dear friend of my family passed away.  She was fifty-three years old. 

Fifty-three.

As I sit here, my heart is begging the question why.  Why her?  Why now?  Why not after her children are grown?  Why not someone who has lived their life?  Why not someone who was ready? 

Just...why?

I know that God is 100% knowing and 100% powerful.  I also believe that He is 100% loving.  So logically, I understand that there must be a reason for this.  A reason for everything. 

But logic doesn't appeal to matters of the heart.  And the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.  What right does God have to take away such a wonderful woman, mother, and friend?  Doesn't He know?  Doesn't He understand? 

I heard a song on the radio that caught my attention.  It's entitled Blessings by Laura Story.  The lyrics of the chorus are these:

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?



As I listened to this song, I could feel my heart softening to the simple truths of these lyrics.  Because the fact is, I am not all-powerful, all-knowing, or all-loving.  I don't understand the things I have never experienced.  I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or even what I will cook for dinner tonight.  And I certainly don't understand why God brings suffering into our lives.  But God knows.  He understands why.  And for a moment, I considered...what if?  What if, Lord?  What if, instead of causing us absolute pain, You are  actually showing even greater compassion?

What if the trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

Neighborly Love

Yesterday was a long day at work.  It wasn't bad, just long.  I was supposed to meet up some friends for dinner, but I was just too tired.  My roommate had left for vacation and I planned on just putting on a movie and falling asleep.

And then my phone rang.

The neighbors on the other side of the duplex are two guys that my roommate and I are friends with.  One of the guys isn't moved in yet, and as we all work, the chance to get together had not presented itself. 

As I answered the phone, I have to admit--I inwardly groaned.  Hadn't I just turned down dinner with other friends?  All I desired of the evening was quiet relaxation and a very early bedtime.

It was my neighbor.  He and a mutual friend were at his side of the house and they wanted to give me a tour.  I figured how long could it take?  Sure, I would take a tour.  That could be fun.

He showed me around, pointing out different things.  His almost child-like excitement made me smile.  When we got to the kitchen, he mentioned that they were making a big dinner that night...and insisted I join them. 

We're neighbors now, he reasoned. 

So off they started on this meal, my neighbor and two of our friends.  We had chicken quesadillas, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, salad, noodles and cheese, soup...it was absolutely incredible. 

I cut up lettuce. 

That's it. 

When I tried to do more or asked what they needed help with, I was told to relax--they didn't need help with anything.  And after dinner, they cleaned up and did the dishes. 

I was truly in awe.  On this night when I was exhausted, I was presented with friends, an amazing dinner, and a cleanup crew.  I had to do virtually nothing.

The generosity.  The serving attitude.  A "thank you" did not seem sufficient for the gratitude I felt no matter how emphatically it was said.  As much as I've searched, I have found only one phrase that can sum up my evening:

I am blessed.  Thank you, Lord, for neighbors like mine.

Addicted to Approval

Before anything else, I need to give credit where credit is due: the title of this post was not an original. It was the tile of the message I heard on Sunday. It was so perfect, however, that I saw no reason to use something else.

This post is actually about what I heard on Sunday. At my church, we're in a series called "Empty Promises." We're talking about things we have in our lives that we seek to give us what only God can give us. God has a name for these things--idols. And on Sunday, we talked about the idol of approval.

‎"What I want you to hear - if you don't hear anything else today - is that there is nothing you could do to make God love you any more or any less than He does in this very moment. Nothing."

How beautiful is that?

Nothing we can do will make God love us any more. As believers in the One and Only God, we should be ultimately seeking His approval. And surprise--we have it!

We have so many giants in our lives:

Grades we can't make.
Bosses we can't please.
Deadlines we can't meet.

But we KILL ourselves to try to do all of these things. Why? Because we seek the approval of someone who is not our Someone. We bend over backwards to try to achieve the acceptance and confirmation of the people of this world.

Nothing we do will make God love us any more because He already loves us to the fullest extent! And no matter what we do, we will not lose that.

I needed that reminder--the reminder that God loves me. Because as a human being, I will mess up. I make mistakes every day. Words can not express the comfort in knowing that God loves me in spite of all of my faults. So allow me to quote again:

There is nothing you could do to make God love you any more or any less than He does in this very moment.

Nothing.

A Lesson Learned

I rarely think on the subject of guardian angels.  I'm unsure as to why this is--it isn't as though I believe them to be fictitious characters.  But regardless, they rarely cross my mind.  That is, until certain events happen.

You see, it was raining the other day.  And by raining, I mean pouring.  Being a forgetful college student (as are most college students), I had yet to purchase an umbrella.  As I stared out the window, I debated whether or not to venture into the extreme moisture that was covering campus.  Finally, I came to this realization:  it's only water.  So off I went, walking briskly through the raindrops.

An older maintenance man, whom I had never seen before, saw me walking behind one of the buildings.  He was carrying an umbrella and paused, waiting for me to reach the place where he was standing.  He held out his umbrella a little ways and told me I was welcome to walk under his umbrella with him.  I was touched by his kindness as we walked a little while and made small talk.  What a kind man, I thought to myself.  We went to part ways, as I was going to the music building and he was headed towards the business buildings.  As I went to walk away, however, he handed me his umbrella.

"Take this, and just leave it at the front door of whatever building you go to," he told me.  "I'll pick it up there later."  At first, I protested, seeing how wet it was outside.  After all, it wasn't his fault that I had neglected to purchase an umbrella.  But after a moment, seeing the look in his eye and hearing the tone in his voice, I accepted his gesture of kindness.  I was overwhelmed at the graciousness of this man, whom I did not know from Adam.  He was a true indication that there are, in fact, still people in this world who think of others before themselves.

As I arrived to class, I was deep in thought, pondering what could be accomplished if each one of us had the heart of the man with the umbrella.  God calls us all to be servants to one another; to think of others before thinking of ourselves.  What incredible miracles could we achieve in other people's lives when we're living in accordance to God's commands?

I have not seen my Umbrella Guardian Angel since that day.  But every now and then I think of him, wondering if he knows how much his kindness touched my heart, wondering what I can do to create an impact in someone else's life the way he impacted mine.  Such a simple gesture, such incredible power.

Amazing, isn't it?  How God gives us little gifts in our everyday lives?  Sometimes when we least expect it, He teaches us the greatest lessons through things as simple as an umbrella on a rainy day.

The Miracle of the Morning

When I think of a miracle, I generally think of "big" things.  I think of healing lepers, multiplying loaves of bread and fish, and calming stormy seas.  Rarely do I think of everyday things.  Why?  


Well, this morning, I inexplicably woke up at 5:21 AM.  I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but for some reason, sleep simply wouldn't come.  So I got out of bed, put on some comfy clothes, grabbed my tennis shoes and headed out the door.  


"This morning," I thought, "I'm going to watching the sunrise."  


In my twenty years of living, I have seen quite a few sunrises.  My dad's favorite day of the year is the the summer solstice--the longest day of the year.  When I was growing up, every year he would wake my siblings and me before dawn.  We would drive to the highest hill around our house and together, as a family, we would watch the sunrise.  


I have not once seen a sunrise that did not bring a smile to my face.  I mean, really, what is there to frown about?  God has awakened me to another beautiful day.  And no matter what this day may bring, I know that He is in control to bring about another one.  


What a true miracle.  The orange, pink, purple, and blue colors painted across the sky do nothing but bring me joy.  I can see the Great Artist's hand at work in such a simple, yet awesome way.  Resting in the comfort that I am God's, He is mine, and He is in control, I enjoyed yet another sunrise this morning.


Praise the Lord for everyday miracles.